…about Angels Amongst Us…

Yes, ye of little faith may just change your tune after reading this little ditty… Me, I’m a control freak, I have a hard time accepting things at face value, I question everything but don’t you question me, I need to not only know why but also HOW/why, I will seek and find every anomaly in a movie…  I was called a ferret at work due to the information I was able to uncover in a short time… you get the picture.

I like all my ducks to be in a row as well as coöperate… you know, like quack on cue… Stepford Ducks with me pulling the strings… things like that. Now I am forced into a life that is more like herding cats. They upset my cooperative mindless ducks and they are either happily living their lives in some wonderful lake or they are now covered in Orange Sauce… I’m hoping it is not the latter. Those crazy cats came into my life and upset everything. There is duck poo and feathers everywhere! Which brings me to the reason for this posting.

Feathers… a very big white fluffy feather was laying in our parking spot years ago. I had a car that was not always cooperative and one day had to call a tow truck to get myself and my son home from the pediatrician… (the car too lol). Tow truck came, hooked up my car on the flatbed. The driver tells me he is going to go back roads instead of the highways because it is now rush hour and it will be faster that way. I was ok with that. My son, meanwhile has been watching the car moving back and forth on the bed behind us… yes, you heard me correctly. He was maybe 8 then so he just tugged my arm and asked me to look at what the car was doing. We were on a hilly back road when I decided to look back and see what he was so fascinated with. What do I witness? My car falling off the flatbed and rolling into this guys front yard while he was standing there at his door looking at his mail. The tow truck driver slams on his brakes and backs up into my car to prevent it from going into the guys yard. If my car wasn’t already dead it was then. He got it back on the flatbed, hooked it up again and off we went. Never phased that guy either, he finished reviewing his mail and went back in the house like this was a weekly occurrence. (maybe it was? lol)

His decision to take back roads saved at least a few folks from a horrible accident had we gone home the usual way… on the highway during rush hour. Once the guy left after plopping my car into our spot and providing all the information necessary for the freak accident… he left. Nothing like watching your car following you with no driver! That was when we found the feather (not your ordinary feather, this one was big and white and so fluffy and most certainly did not belong there… except for us to find it) and my son reminded me of the tow truck drivers name… it was Gabriel. I still have that feather somewhere too…

Lately I have just gotten so wore down trying to herd these damn cats that I decided to just sit back and watch the chaos. I started talking to the Angels again figuring what have I got to lose? I’ve already lost my mind… I can hear it at night randomly banging into the walls and stuff. I wasn’t really getting anywhere and kept waiting to see the random signs that I had seen in the past…. nope. Nothing… or so I thought. Soon I kept seeing consecutive numbers everywhere. Numbers numbers and more numbers, combinations and repetitions that were getting scary it was so often. (actually, frustrating because I wasn’t ‘getting the message’) I would look at the clock and see it was 12:34. I look again at the time and see it is 2:34. At first I would giggle because I would see these numbers everywhere I looked. I would start to question the Angels and say… ok, I keep seeing this soooo??? Nothing. I still kept seeing consecutive numbers so much so that I actually started getting really frustrated… one say I cried out and said “Seriously Angels… can you puleeeeeeeeze make this painfully obvious to me? I’m a dumbass when it comes to figuring out the obvious… please show me clearly the things you want to show me…”

I had to go out later that day and when I did, I was behind this girl and her long ponytail was over her left shoulder and I could see the numbers 234 tattooed on the back of her neck. I just about fell on the floor right there except there was a word in front of the numbers and I was trying to see what it was. It was a tattoo that simply said “Psalm 23:4” I asked for painfully obvious. I got painfully obvious! (Get it? Tattoo’s are painful? lol) I was thrilled and there were prayers of gratitude! There are so many things like this happening to me now it would take years to write it all down… I will leave you with the things that happened from last night to this morning.

I asked again for the very obvious signs… (there is a lot going on in my life right now with the main thorns being foreclosure and being out of work…) I was on my way home last night and was listening to one of my Reiki music CD’s when all of a sudden I needed to turn on the radio. This is what I hear: Free – All Right Now. Specifically from about the 4:25 mark on the song. All they pretty much say at that point is Baby, it’s all right it’s all right it’s all right…. I asked for very obvious. I got very obvious. 🙂

This morning I had some very unpleasant business to take care of (foreclosure stuff where I had to talk to the judge… yikes! But, it’s all right.) I had already turned all of that over to The Universe when I do my Reiki (which is pretty much 24/7) and said thank you for taking care of everything for my highest good. I focused on that fact while I was there in the courtroom. My son took me and I was so very grateful because even though I was no longer worried, it is still very nerve-wracking and it is never fun when your stomach plays whack-a-mole with your ulcers. I would have probably been captured in a butterfly net and taken away to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats… ho ho hee hee ha ha…  (Do not tell me you don’t get that… go look it up on YouTube lol)

Where was I? Oh, eluding those nice young men with the net…. Back home, we parked. My son points to the trip meter and says “Look!” What did it read? 111.1 Yes, he has noticed as well. When I had finally sat down and took out my phone to call my girlfriend, the time? 11:01. While we were talking I was telling her of the mornings events and the time thing, she laughed and said she just looked at her clock a couple of moments ago and it was 11:11, she didn’t think anything of it until we started talking about it. I decided to look at my phone and I see these numbers 41 (the temperature) and 11:14 (the time). If you don’t know much about the connection with Angels using numbers as one way to communicate, here is a little info about the numbers 1 & the newcomer this morning 4.

The number 1 pretty much means that the time is NOW to hand over your concerns to God and the Angels. You will manifest what you are thinking so you need to stay positive. For me the repetitive 1’s today were a very obvious reminder to stay positive and it’s all right now. (As well as a gentle reminder not to try to take anything back that I already put into their very capable hands)

The number 4? Reassurance.

Combined like that earlier…  41 1141… pretty damn amazing!

Mind you, when I ask, pray, meditate, whatever you want to call it… I don’t sit back and figure I don’t have to do anything further. No, I ask, I thank, I listen and I move forward with these beautiful loving wings holding me up and I have faith. I never thought I could give up control without someone prying it out of my cold dead hands.

Funny how ever since I gave up control my life has been easier, things are just falling into place and I can now see glimmers of light! I’m still a basket case, but a calmer basket case… lol The solutions may not come right away and may be at the last-minute but it’s all right! I’ve stopped trying to figure out what is going to happen, released my expectations and a whole new world is beautifully unfolding before my eyes…

It’s like buying an umbrella when you know there is a storm coming. Just because you bought it doesn’t mean you won’t get wet. You have to do something with it!

Just for today:
Do not anger.
Do not worry.
Be humble.
Be honest.
Be compassionate.

Thanks for sharing this time with me and give up a little control today 😉

Love, Alyss

…about Being Up Close and Personal with Idiocy.

I’m sure you all have heard Obamacare this Obamacare that… well, this is not about that. This is based on personal experience with Connecticut’s wonderful health care system as it is now. My experience. Period.

You have heard about the latest raging issue of gun control… Everyone has their opinion and this is not for that either. I will just say that I never saw a gun shoot anything all by itself… and the horrific tragedies like the one here in CT will not be prevented by this law. The overall Health Care system in this state sucks. The thing that is gaining a bit of momentum is that we should focus not more on guns but more on not making cuts on any type of health care… including mental health. Here is the latest info as of this draft.

Most people do not realize just how assbackward and patient UN friendly the system is. Health Care & Mental Health Care are in a much sadder state than you can imagine… unless you are in the midst of it. I’ll say right here and right now that if anyone were to tell me some of the things I am about to tell you I would give them a look. You know… The Look: eyebrows raised, sideways glance, lips a bit snarled in that wtf-are-you-kidding-me-what-are-you-on-do-you-think-I’m-an-idiot? The Look. You will probably have that look a few times while reading this.

I live it and STILL have a hard time believing the idiocy and racket they have. Do your own research… Check where you get your verifying information. If you go right to Wikipedia… shame on you! Seriously, anyone can edit that. I would never expect anyone to take anything as a fact unless they did their research or had first hand experience.

Even though everything on the internet is true *cough cough*

Oh… wait! That’s not good… a cough! What shall I do? Oh no? Eiw, coughing and wheezing. OMG Now I have a fever… can I go see my doctor? Between coughs I call… No. I cannot be seen there now due to the insurance, once it is out of spenddown status I can make an appointment then, instead they tell me to go to the emergency room in a hushed voice. What? I was able to see them before? Even with no insurance I was able to see the doctor… now? No. (Confused yet? If not you will be appropriately bewildered soon.)

Oh wait!

Depression is setting in because of this and oh no! Wait! Now I’m anxious too…. can I go back and see the therapist I went to when I was “covered”? Why… NO. No no nonoooo. You cannot continue seeing a mental health professional either when you are in  “spenddown” status with the State of CT. Seriously, they cannot see you again once you have another $6K spenddown to meet. (Each person has their own amount to meet.) If you come up with your amount of unpaid medical bills from the earlier 6 month time frame when you were covered and therefore had no unpaid medical bills… then you can see them again. That’s the catch they never tell you until it’s too late. Do you see the problem here? Confused? Don’t worry… it will be clear enough soon… and if you think you just read what you read… you did. It’s a horrible catch 22.

This is the system that instead of fixing it they call it an entitlement and want to make cuts to it. I have made probably close to 100 calls into my case worker since May of 2011. Not once… NOT ONCE have I spoken to any of them. (I get robo letters with new caseworkers names but never once spoke to one…  hmmm are they real or just evil fictional characters?) I would call and get nowhere then call back and try hitting random extensions and sometimes get lucky and get a human… not the human assigned to me though. Usually I end up with a message telling me to please hang up and call back on their new number… and as they read the number off I realize it is the same number I am calling… the circle of psychosis continues… (And still no calls returned… )

So you say “Get to the point already… Do you have insurance or not?!” Do I have insurance? I have no idea… I don’t think so yet I do think so, but I’m not quite sure because I am not able to use it and will get turned away if I try to make a doctor’s appointment because I have it. So, you tell me!

Thank God I do Reiki! Here is a link about Reiki, I picked this site because she is the Reiki Master I am studying under and I would not just post something without being able to back it up. With that and perseverance I am gaining in the run towards my perfect health as well as keeping my head from exploding from all the stress. smdh

When I started looking into applying for help from the state: CT DSS Site info here. Unemployment and other circumstances should surely qualify me to get medical coverage. Hahahaaaa Not even close!!! For me to get coverage through the state I had to be in a program called Spenddown. That program is the curse on low-income families and a way for the state to deny health care, and especially mental health care to low-income individuals. (I bet that part of the program won’t get cut… ) Unless I jump through the hoops that are impossibly tiny I simply must stay sane and healthy. Simple as that. I cannot afford it and morally I cannot and will not use the emergency room for anything other than an actual emergency. Besides, the universe is full of free ‘therapy’. Have Faith… I do.

I was “lucky” enough to end up in the ER in April 2011. A real emergency. (Which is why I needed to get medical coverage.) That was how I was also “lucky” enough to have enough in unpaid/outstanding medical bills to satisfy the state’s criteria for my “excessive” income. Meanwhile this excessive income has led to me being in foreclosure and owing so much that even if I won the lottery I’d still owe. (I needed over $6k of medical bills outstanding within the past 6 months). So, during the months from June to November (which is the 6 month period I was to have the insurance until the next review) I finally was approved for the benefit (or entitlement as the politicians call it) in late August. That meant I had only 10 weeks of coverage out of the 26 week time frame I had to submit that $6k to satisfy. I had no idea that the 10 weeks of coverage I had would not only be the only weeks with coverage but it would also prevent me from getting any further appointments with my regular doctor or brand new therapist! I just talk to Coco now… she’s great therapy!

Imagine my shock when I found out that I would have to come up with another chunk of medical bills… different and new unpaid medical bills to keep the insurance usable for another 6 months! Thank God I had a wonderful group of doctors that helped me race that timeframe to get everything I needed taken care of.. (this was from the er visit back in April 2011!) Cancer runs in my family and took my mom when she was only 42 and let’s just say I needed to make sure I was not following suit. (I am NOT) So God Bless Dr. Simon!!! The world needs not just more doctors like him but more people like him in general. He treated me like a person and not a faceless nameless file!

Before you are “in the system” you can be seen and not turned away from places when you need medical help, however after spenddown and during spenddown? You are a pariah in the healthcare system. I was told flat-out by medical personnel that if i need to be seen, go to the emergency room. I’m talking even if it’s something minor like bronchitis. Go to the emergency room. I’m sorry but I do not feel comfortable using the emergency room for something that I should be able to just call my doctor for… but calling my own doctor only gets me a “sorry… go to the ER” in a quieter than normal voice over the phone. Emergency Rooms should be just that… for emergencies not for the state and doctors offices to use for financial reasons.

Mind you, it has only been the medical personnel that I linked to here that have told me to go to the er if I needed to be seen after the insurance went to spenddown status. I have not gone and wasted the er’s time but instead focused more on my Reiki and natural remedies as well as at least one doctor that is not affiliated with the linked place. Some doctors honor the Hippocratic Oath while others are simply Hypocrites.

So, yes, that is how the wonderful “entitlement” called State Insurance really really helps. *cough cough* oh no… a cough! I think I will have a nice cup of Mullein Tea and do more Reiki… and Just for today I will not worry….

Thanks for reading, even if you think I made it up… I really didn’t and if you looked at the links and did your research you would know I’m telling the truth.

Love,

Alyss

 

…about her prediction for the summer weather…

Last night (April 10 2013) Mother Nature unleashed a preview of what is to come. I felt thunder shake the house like I haven’t in a very long time. The lightning was vivid and there was even a huge crack that lit up a very unusual but beautiful lavender color! That was the last of it for me. I was sad and wanted more! My poor Coco was so freaked out by the house shaking thunder boomers she was all crouched down looking fiercely at the front door waiting to attack whatever was trying to get in lmao! I’m sure my excited squeals did not help calm her.

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For those of you who know me… you are aware that I’ve been feeling a bit gypped with what Mother Nature has (or in my case has not) been showering upon us in the North Eastern U.S. Southwestern CT to be exact. There were so many storm cells that just went *poof* as soon as they came into my area! I mean *poof* as in where did it go?!?! Not *poof* there it is… lol I would see others talking about the storms raging around them while I was there looking at the radar and then the sky hoping for something to stay together long enough for me to have some fun too! Yes, it is true that we did have some fantastic weather (shoveling 3 feet of snow… Sandy… ) a lot of the flash and crash that I crave would fizzle before it got to me. I did enjoy the wild weather that was dumped on me… it just wasn’t exactly what I wanted lol.

This year will be different. I will see so much stormy weather that even I, yes, you heard it here first… even I will be sick of thunder and lightning! I’ve almost been struck by lightning 3 times (so far) in my life. I can tell you what it looks, smells and tastes like up close and personal. I was surprised to see that it wasn’t a solid bolt like I imagined it would be but instead saw a cloudy plasma like substance as the bolt. (The next thing I knew I was perched atop an industrial washing machine shaking like a leaf… more with excitement than the strange sensations and fear… it kept going back and forth between the two emotions lol)

Anyway… how do I know this year will finally be my year? (To see some fantastic storms, not to actually get struck by lightning lol) Well, during last night’s storm I would go sit by the window like a cat watching birds at a birdfeeder… I would see some flashes and hear the thunder roll… watched the rain pour down… it would lessen and after a while I would go sit back in my chair and sure enough! As soon as I got comfortable and flipped up my laptop or unmuted the TV… Big flashes and louder crashes… I bolt up and go back to the window… what do I see? Maybe a pitiful flash and quiet thunder then nothing… so, disappointed  I go back to my chair… as soon as I got comfortable… you guessed it, same thing Mother Nature turned up the volume again… So I bolt back to the window… decide that isn’t good enough so instead I detour and go downstairs, open the garage and spend about 15 minutes out there waiting and watching… the rain is less now, not even 1 flash or rumble so I go back upstairs. My son is sitting in the living room and as I am getting to the top step… what happens??? Just go back and read, you get the picture. So my son says to me, you know that happens every time you try to watch… just give up lol. I agreed.

I sat down and dammit what happens??? The biggest and loudest and brightest and longest crash and flash of the night! The one I mentioned above at the beginning, the one that was lavender and shook the house so bad Coco thought we were being invaded!

It is finally my year because of the way Mother Nature handled herself last night. Did you notice that each time her storm was to reach a crescendo I had just left the window or came back indoors therefore missed being up close? Each time it left me wanting more… That was her plan… to have me away from the window or door and only see enough of what was going on out there to really whet my appetite for more. If she gave me the whole show last night it surely would overwhelm me fast seeing what she has in store for wherever I am this year!!

Compare it to being given an unlimited supply of your favorite thing to do, place to go, food or beverage… so do you use up or stuff yourself with as much as you can as soon as you get it? (You end up getting sick to death of your favorite thing and now it’s ruined for you.) OR do you savor little bits each chance you get and make it last and last, using a little more each time to keep that thrill level high? Well, Mother Nature decided to give me little bits last night… she is preparing me as not to overwhelm me. She knows how I crave those tremendous thunderstorms and that I’ve been deprived way too long… like a crack addict… only my crack is thunder!

Makes perfect sense to me anyway. Thanks for stopping by and if storms are your thing… may Mother Nature take pity on you as well and give you some shows too… let the thunder roll!!!!!!!! (I mean NOW please?) Obviously I am predicting I will be seeing a lot more as well as more severe weather this summer/fall than usual… Bring it on!!!

Love,

Alyss